Let it Be Messy

Let it Be Messy - Letting Go of Perfectionism:

Small, Imperfect Steps Toward What Matters

Blog Post #3 in the Goal Setting for Liberation Series

Perfectionism isn’t just a personal quirk—it’s a survival strategy many of us developed inside systems that reward productivity, compliance, and “getting it right.” And while it might have helped us stay safe, succeed, or feel worthy in the past, it can be exhausting to carry forward. Especially now.

If you're tired, overwhelmed, or just trying to keep your head above water, perfectionism can creep in with thoughts like:

“I can’t start this until I’m clear on exactly how it’ll go.”
“If I can’t do it all the way, I won’t do it at all.”
“What if I do it wrong or look foolish?”

I know these voices intimately. I live with them. And I’ve also learned, and can sometimes remember, how to talk back to them—how to be willing to try something knowing I worry about making a fool of myself in the process, or maybe just not finishing the project and facing that disappointment.

Some things that help:

🌀 Letting my goals be messy.
Sometimes I start working toward a goal that doesn’t quite make sense yet. I try something out, pivot, pause, return, or throw it out entirely. The clarity often comes through doing, not before it.

🌀 Letting my efforts be visible.
I used to think I had to get everything figured out privately before sharing it with others. But I’ve found that there’s something powerful (and vulnerable) in saying:

“This is what I’m trying right now. It’s not perfect. I’m learning.”

🌀 Letting my pace be kind.
Some days, my small action is just putting the item on my to do list. Or setting a 10-minute timer to start the project. Or rereading the instructions for something that needs my attention. That counts. All of it counts.

A note for this moment.

In a time of deep political unrest, widespread burnout, and so much uncertainty, the urge to be "effective" or "worthy" through our actions can feel intense.

But I believe that goal setting—real, liberatory goal setting—is about staying connected to what matters and taking small steps toward it in ways that nourish rather than deplete us.

Want to consider joining me in this outlook?

Think to yourself - What’s one thing you’ve been avoiding because you want to do it perfectly? What would it look like to just start?… messily, without needing to finish or even succeed? To see what you accomplish and learn by getting started? 

This week, I’m practicing that myself. One of my small imperfect steps was writing and publishing this blog post. I’ve made a commitment to myself to keep writing about goal setting as a tool for liberation. And yet, even though I’ve loved writing the last couple posts, I almost didn’t sit down to write this one. I worried it might not be good enough to share.
Maybe it’s not! Lol. But part of this work is letting go of needing it to be objectively good. Everyone is free to take what resonates and leave the rest. Or not read it at all!

I’ve been healing from a chronic illness over the past few years, and there are moments when a practitioner—or my own heart—asks:

What do you want to do when you're feeling well again?
What brings joy into your healing?

Sometimes, I picture myself in a camper van, traveling across the country. That image makes me feel free and powerful. Other times, I can’t think of anything. But recently, I started writing again and remembered how much I love it—and how long I’ve loved it. So now writing is on the list of things that are part of my healing, that connect me to myself and others and help me figure out how to take action in the world.

So I’m reminding myself again: connection matters more than perfection.

If you’re walking with me on this path of exploring Goal Setting for Liberation, you can sign up for my newsletter below. I’ll share posts like this every so often, and I’m planning a few small workshops in the coming months for those who want to work with these ideas in community.

In solidarity,
Paula/Pixel

P.S. Stay tuned for the pretty great story about my newly adopted, additional name, Pixel.

P.P.S. When the state of the world makes it hard to get anything done, goal setting can help. I’ll be sharing more on how I use it to supports political action—and starting a group soon for folks who want to explore that together.